I am stressed.
I didn’t think it would come to this, or that I would suffer from stress. It feels as if I’m inferior because I’m unable to cope with all the things that I have been able to, or think I should be able to handle in my life. I used to be able to juggle all these things in life and draw upon adrenaline to keep me going. But I guess the activities and responsibilities in my life have been building up slowly over the last few years to the point where now I’m in a position where I’ve probably got too much on my plate at work and in my personal life *sigh* It’s probably a result of saying “Yes” too much.
So what happened?
All this week, since Monday, I’ve had palpitations, mostly at work. I’ve had some before, but only one or two weird missed beats or extra hard heart beats which I wrote off to excessive caffeine. But this week it’s been happening much more and from Monday to Thursday. What do I feel? Basically – missed beats, extra hard beats… hard to describe. I can constantly feel my heart beat, wondering if I’m going to have a heart attack. Last night, I was definitely skipping 1 beat every 5-10 or so for a while. Even Wifey heard it. But I think it got even worse last night because of the stress I was having thinking about the stress and the palpitations!
So I went to the doctors today and had an ECG done. Unfortunately no missed beats when I was there. It’s funny – I sat in this little room for ~30 minutes with all these wires hooked up to me, nothing to do but stare at the white curtains surrounding the bed – I hadn’t felt this relaxed for a long while!!! I think I just need to sit down and meditate/relax for 30mins to an hour each day.
Hmm…. anyway, now I’m booked in for a blood test, a Holter monitor and to see a cardiologist.
Deep breaths, relax, deep breaths, relax, clear the mind….
(Seems like another blogger had a similar episode here: http://www.georgeslife.com/?p=27)