A bad dance

Have you had a bad dance?  You know, one of those ones that just don’t work.

At the DJ Battle on last weekend, I got knocked out early so took the opportunity have a few dances. 

And so the DJ put on a song, one I’ve never heard or danced to before.  The rhythm was a bit uncomfortable – it “sounded” slow, but it was not.   I think it was because it had more of a half time feel to it.

I asked a follow to dance – an advanced dancer.  Like many dances, I first like to get “in tune” with my follow – almost like “calibrating” myself to them, as every follow is different.  We did a few rocks to the music.

And then a few swingouts.

And then crap.

Nothing seemed to work at all!  Not that we didn’t “dance”.  But our dance forms and frame was totally not connecting. I wasn’t able to play and connect with the music and give us both room to improvise with each other and the music.  

And being the lead, it’s really all my fault.  Aargghhh!!!  I tried to get back to basics, but I was probably so frustrated by then, it just didn’t work.  Maybe I started thinking too hard…

We continued dancing to the end of the song, and I said a big “sorry” afterwards when leading her off the floor.  We’ve had better dances before, and I had some really good dances that night, but this particular combination of song, partner and my frame of mind and (bad :)) technique just didn’t gel this time.

I felt embarrassed.  I felt disappointed. 

How can I make sure this doesn’t happen again?

2 thoughts on “A bad dance”

  1. I had a really bad experience like that in Sydney, dancing with a lead from overseas. He could lead and I could follow but as soon as either of us started trying to add our own flavour and variations, it all went to pieces. I felt terrible, like it was my fault I couldn’t follow it, and I apologised to him afterwards.

    He was really good about it though, he said, “No, don’t be sorry. I think our styles just don’t match.” It was the first time I’d ever had someone be so accepting of that fact. We’re all unique, with different styles, so there should definitely be times when you + them + music simply doesn’t work.

    The trouble, I think, comes when one of the partners blames the other rather than accepting that they are part of the problem.


  2. Ah, that’s happened to me so many times. As travelistablog mentioned it’s just a combination of factors. It can happen any place at any time with anyone.

    I discussed this stuff at length with a friend a few years back and she would always say that there are just too many variables in a dance for it to not work. You cant make any judgements based on one dance. I was worried that I was doing things wrong but she said not to worry unless it’s something that is happening every single time with every single partner. Good old scientific rationalization. Yay.

    Nice blog btw,

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